Confessing that your husband saves phone books to use as toilet paper can get you a lot of places...

SEE WHO WINS THE MILLION DOLLARS -THIS MONDAY 8/7c. I thought I had somewhat emotionally disconnected myself from the whole Deal or No Deal thing because I have a one in thirty chance or less of getting on the show and messed up my screen test a bit. But now that it is back on the air and someone wins the million next week...Geeesh! When they asked me what my strategy was and I said the safety net, lame and not true! You need to go for life changing money, safety net or no safety net. I also should have interacted more with my fantabulous supporters but there was so much screaming and yelling and crying (the good kind), it is all a blur. Speaking of supporters, they were AMAZING and the love I felt from them was humbling. I love you all so much and am eternally grateful. It was all worth it just to be with all of you, that's for sure.

I am so glad I went for it though. My Dad was thinking I was wasting my time. When I came back from the 400o person audition after waiting in line for hours and hours in 30 degree nose, toe, and finger freezing weather, I will never forget the look on his face when I said I made call backs. It was like he had seen a ghost! Doing the audition was just one thing I selfishly did for myself in a life full of selfless service for my husband and children. You just have to go for it in life and never look back, you know?! Of course I had a million reasons to stay home that day. If I tell my kids to go for it and follow their dreams, I've got to walk the talk.

So for now I look on hollywoodtickets.com to see if they are still taping. They're taping a ton until December. They said you have one year in their contestant pool and then they start over. So I won't know until April 2009 that the case (no pun intended :-) is closed. Even though I haven't auditioned for anything since this,

I am realizing that doing these things makes me feel like I am truly living. It is nerve racking and exhilarating all at the same time!!! I should look for an audition once a year or so. I am such a huge Survivor fan, but not the best starver! I think I could stab someone in the back for a million dollars though! :) It's just a game you know. In real life my word is as good as gold.