BUT...this is real life. And I want my kids to know in 20 years that when they are raising their own families, that I too had many many trials and stresses all along the way. Big ones. Little ones. Absolute despair at times. Like this morning!!!! It was rough. Chad has been tortuously struggling to accomplish even the most basic of tasks for the last few days. That is just the beginning of what is going on. I have endless worries about him.
I need to change things. I am WAY too over committed (to the point of often double scheduling myself and sometimes triple scheduling myself). Some things I could probably cancel, but about 95% is just really important stuff that can't be dropped like helping kids with school/medical needs/serving others (this is a big one...but really, what is more important?!)/getting them to their one favorite activity/church service/keeping kids fed and clothed/bottoms wiped. My chest is burning from the stress. And I am always in a hurry, running dragging crying kids along, always late or WAY too early (like an hour) because it is the only time I can drop a kid off, always barely making it somewhere. Frequently needing to be 2 places or 3 places at the same time. Saturday I had to be 4 places at the same time...that stunk. I never know if I am going to pull it off.
Russ said tonight from Texas that he hasn't been helping at all for several weeks and it will only get worse with his new job. He's pulling 18 hour days as it is.
I can't WAIT for summer. I am a summer kind of girl. Soaking in the sun, soaking in the fun, soaking in the kids. No homework. No pressures. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! I love every minute of it. I HATE when school starts again. Summer is my love.
But I must finish with a couple of snowflakes. The weather was PERFECT today. Dreamy. And Ava got into a swim lesson class at the YMCA where she is the ONLY student and can do all the strokes by herself already at age 4! And I got a lamp for 80% off that I love. The list could go on and on really!!! The good always outweighs the bad when you add it all up. Now, with Gods' help... if I can just help my son.
4 comments:
Oh Leah....big hugs! I thought about calling you yesterday, but that may have only made your day more busy. Four kids is SO, SO, SO busy. I really don't see how there are some people out there do more. Last night we had three things at the same time, but at least we had two parents to deal with it. I feel for you being on your own right now. I'll keep your family and Chad especially in my prayers. I love you all and I hope your snowflakes build into even greater things!!! Love you!
your real..and thats the great thing.. good and bad.. I love how you tell it all.. makes the rest of us feel normal. I wish we could just multiply ourselves..but alas..we are mothers..and our work is never done.
Somedays I have a freak out..just to let everyone know that I do alot and its exhausting. When Clay lived in Baton Rouge for 6 months.. it was not easy, shows the importance everyone plays!! I think they think its no big deal for Mom to do it all!!!
I am with you about Summer..love summer..love hanging with the kids without the stress of school..as for your boy.. you will figure it out and find the blessings in all of it.. you always do!!! :)
Leah, I think you are an inspiration to mothers everywhere!!
Real life can be so hard! I am with you on the overscheduled thing. I hit my melting point in North Dakota and had my uncle give me a blessing. It has really helped. You are an amazing woman Leah, God won't give you more than you can handle. Just listen carefully to the spirit to make sure that you aren't giving yourself more than He expects. Trying to find the balance is tricky. Just recently I realized that my chest literally gets tight when I commit myself to something that is good but unecessary. I hate missing out of stuff that would be good and fun. But I love the feeling that comes over me after I say no.
Okay so is this a long enough comment or what! Hang in there Leah.
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